It is a founding principle for old and new
teachers alike: do not care whether your students like you or not. Easier said
than done when you’re just a sucker with no self-esteem.
But teachers have bigger problems to worry
about: if you’re going to be fired because your test scores weren’t high
enough, differentiating instruction, student attendance, cantankerous parents,
Betsy “Satan’s left testicle” DeVos. You’re not in middle school anymore –
you’re teaching middle school. You
don’t need a good reputation with twelve-year-olds.
Right?
 |
| Image Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons |
Wrong,
you dork.
Alright,
so I’m only four months into my first ever teaching job, so I don’t exactly have
years of experience or Noble-prize winning academic articles defending the
importance of positive relationship building with students. But I do have
ninety kids, twenty five of which are eighth graders, so I know a thing or two about
getting some to sometimes shut up and listen to me.
And
if you’re looking to build a critique relationship with someone about your
artwork or your literature, you’ve also gotta know how to get them to sometimes
shut up and sometimes listen.
So
what does liking / benefiting from each other look like? Well, it requires
mutual respect, personal investment, gains for both parties, and constructive
feedback.
1. Mutual Respect: They are not Your Peasant.
Let’s get one thing straight: your planning is bullshit. Having specific
requirements on what your critique partner should notice, offer comments on,
etc. overlooks the very human aspect of communication and reactions.
As a teacher, I know that I have to bend
to students if I don’t want them to snap. When we think about this in artistic
criticism, we need to think about what this bending looks like. I want to see
what people bring to the table: what can I learn from their unique perspective?
Even if you’re dead certain that you know more than them or have greater
experience on your side, “throwaway” critiquers can show you what
misinterpretations of your art might look like. Maybe this critiquer doesn’t
know jack about your brief historical blog post about the history of Colby Jack
cheese, but she does know a lot about grammar… your arch nemesis.
You are no ruler of all things: don’t
require critiquers to “measure up” to receive the sheer glory of contact with
your art.
2. You
are a Guest in Their House: Respect the furniture that is their
world-building. Do not knock over the Ming Dynasty vase of their protagonist’s
tragic backstory. Wipe off your shoes on the doormat before trekking mud over
the ancient rugs of their awkwardly-choreographed fight scene.
Our art is our most precious My Precious. Say
those not-nice-things nicely; focus on what can be redecorated, not gutted. You
wouldn’t want someone else taking a shit in your kitchen sink, so don’t shit in
theirs.
3.
Appreciating an Outsider Perspective, Even if They’re Out of Their Mind:
You don’t need to agree with everyone’s opinion. What you do need to do,
however, is show that you value their opinion. This looks like asking clarification
questions, understanding someone’s personal biases & intentions, and
generally treating them like a person who has devoted a lot of time to read through every single one of your words and
period marks to delve into your story. Maybe they hate your story – don’t hate
them for it. Yet. Ask them “Why?”
One fantastic educator once told a TEDTalk
audience something that resonated extremely deeply with me: “Speak to
understand, not to be understood”
When I say that you need to get your critiquer to shut up and listen, that goes for you, too. Show them that you are seriously serious about anything that they have to say. If your friend is too worried about hurting your feelings & they self-censor, then that's a throwaway critique. If someone loves you enough to cut you down, maybe you should listen to it.
So long as they actually love you. If they're being a dick for the sake of being a dick, then they're definitely a dick. Take it with a grain of salt.
So long as they actually love you. If they're being a dick for the sake of being a dick, then they're definitely a dick. Take it with a grain of salt.
4.
Constructive Criticism with S.O.S : Summarize, Observe Strengths &
Struggles, Strategies for Improvements. No one wants to collaborate with
someone who can only find entirely positive or negative things about their
writing… with no discussion.
When I’m in the long-haul for providing
constructive criticism, I use a variation of the 3 S Feedback Strategy created
by educator Ron Byrnes. I’ve modified the feedback strategy (to Summarize, Strengths
of writing, and Suggest improvements) because, while Byrnes makes the argument
to avoid dwelling on short-comings that students all too frequently hear, I
believe that addressing these struggles with
skills or tools to revise pinpoints where and how we improve our writing.
Summarizing a chapter or paragraph of
someone’s story helps to show the writer the general impact of their passage.
Listing strengths and struggles should balance a scale: as many compliments as
criticisms. Finally, offering resources for how to improve these writing crimes
and punishments allows your writer partner means by which to grow.
Finally, even when you do your part of
valuing this critiquer, constructively criticizing, respecting their art as
your own – do not cater to their perception of you. This is the part where you can hate them for hating your story. You
are the writer, not them: you can keep or discard any advice you choose.
I want my students to like me, but I am in
the one in control of this classroom. If they complain, “I don’t like homework”,
I don’t throw away assignments and set fire to the yearly assessments and toss
out candy like it’s a parade. I tell them, “Well, I don’t like you failing my
class.” When I come to my students with as much kindness, compassion, and
willingness to help as I can muster, and they meet me with negative attitudes,
I am 100% confident that their shitty work is not my fault.
If a critiquing partner will not give your
art the time of day even when you pain over theirs, then you don’t have to
critique with them again. But you will be confident that this maltreatment was
no fault of your own. Besides, now you’re a nicer, more patient person. Golly jee,
what a burden.
No comments:
Post a Comment