Calling All Bathroom Stall Poets!

Hello!

Are you a bathroom stall poet? It's OK if you're not, because I'm not either. Graffiti has just never been my thing, but I have always thought about leaving a poetical thought on a bathroom stall wall or in some other public place. After my research for this post, apparently everyone does.

via NoRiverWater.com.

And sometimes, bathroom stall poetry is weird and disgusting.

Thank you, lovely bathroom stall poet. But you have clearly not spent enough time googling "Bathroom Stall Poetry". Because even though it still counts----MAN, IS IT GROSS. To be honest, I don't know what I expected. But anyway, I skipped all the poop, masturbation, and fart jokes as much as possible in order to get to the weirder stuff. But if poop, masturbation, and fart poetry is what you're into----you're in luck, because apparently many bathroom stall poets are inspired by their own fecal matter. I'm still counting it as a win for poetry, but at what cost.....at what cost, I ask you?

Anyway. I emerged from the poop-strewen world of bathroom stall poetry with some really weird poems. Enjoy them---some things my eyeballs will never be able to un-see. RIP eyeballs. LONG LIVE BATHROOM STALL POETS.

Honestly, I'm afraid to ask what the inspiration was.
via imgur.com

This is actually more beautiful than funny. But. Why was this a thought while you were on the toilet?
via HerCampus.com

Nothing like a fresh helping of bitterness to start your day.  Ouch.
via HerCampus.com

MY FAVORITE HAIKU. More on this one over on our other post.

I'm not entirely sure of what just happened here. But I laughed.
via Flickr. 

Yes, clearly you are PAID (not payed) by the hour. Oh, humanity.
via MattHazard

Well said, bathroom stall poet. I'll bet you were sitting here for at least 30 minutes.
This is also probably the manifesto of all bathroom poets. Gross, but OK.
via Imugr.com

OK, so, as you know....we write a prompt for every post we make, EVEN the hilarity posts. About bathrooms. So, this is your task:

Go forth, padawan poet, and write a poem on the bathroom stall wall. Join the elite (HA) ranks of Bathroom Stall Poets and put these people to shame WITHOUT....using poop or fart jokes. That's important. Don't recycle what everyone else has used, really stretch to write something truly, inexplicably weird. And remember that no one will know it's you. Hopefully. Maybe write on a slant just in case. Also, don't be a total dick and write it vulgar/big enough to ruin some poor janitor's life. Maybe write it in pencil so you're not destroying public property. In sum: no poop, no farts, yes weird, no permanent markers, yes pencils. Got it? GOOD.

Be sure to share your creations with us in the comment section below! You don't have to share a picture if you don't want to, it can also just be what you wrote. You can also email us your poem if you'd like to share or submit to our Featured Friday posts!

OK, go forth and write your bathroom poetry! I'll bet you dirty people are all going to go look at the poop jokes first. I'm pretty sure even the cavemen thought poop was funny, though, so I'm not surprised. Such is life.